How to Support Someone Who You Think Is Suicidal

Suicide remains a critical global issue, affecting individuals and communities worldwide. As part of the campaign for World Suicide Prevention Day (WSPD) 2024-2026, the theme “Changing the Narrative on Suicide” encourages individuals, communities, organisations, and governments to engage in open, honest discussions about mental health and suicide. By starting conversations, we can break down barriers, raise awareness, and support those in need.

Recognise the Signs

Understanding and recognising the signs of suicidal thoughts is the first step in providing support. These signs can include:

  • Expressing feelings of hopelessness or having no reason to live: Statements like “What’s the point?” or “I’d be better off dead” are red flags.
  • Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain: This can indicate a profound sense of hopelessness and despair.
  • Increased use of alcohol or drugs: Substance abuse can be a coping mechanism for underlying distress.
  • Withdrawing from activities and isolating from friends and family: A sudden withdrawal from social interactions can signal severe depression.
  • Extreme mood swings: Rapid changes in mood, from elation to deep depression, can be a warning sign.

Asking About Thoughts of Suicide

Direct Questions

The only way to know if someone is considering suicide is to ask them directly. Posing questions such as, “Are you having thoughts of suicide?” or “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” can open up a conversation about their feelings.

Addressing Misconceptions

It’s a common misconception that asking someone about suicide might plant the idea in their head. Research shows this is not true. On the contrary, asking about suicidal thoughts can provide relief to the person, knowing someone cares and is willing to listen.

Staying Calm

When someone discloses suicidal thoughts, it’s natural to feel panic or shock. However, it’s important to stay calm, confident, and empathetic. Your composed demeanour can have a reassuring effect on the person in crisis.

How to Talk with Someone Who is Suicidal

Genuine Care

When talking to someone who is suicidal, it’s more important to be genuinely caring than to say the ‘right’ things. Show support and understanding, and give them your undivided attention. Suicidal thoughts are often a cry for help and a way to escape overwhelming problems and distressing emotions.

Encourage Expression

Encourage the person to share their thoughts and feelings. Let them know it’s okay to talk about painful things, even if it’s difficult. Allow them to cry, express anger, or vent their frustrations. Acknowledging their courage to share can help them feel validated and supported.

Listening Tips

  • Be patient and calm while they talk.
  • Listen without expressing judgement. Accept what they are saying without agreeing or disagreeing.
  • Ask open-ended questions to understand their thoughts and feelings better.
  • Summarise their points to show you are listening and clarify important details.
  • Express empathy and acknowledge their feelings.

How to Keep the Person Safe

Immediate Risk

If you suspect there is an immediate risk of the person acting on their suicidal thoughts, act quickly. Do not leave them alone. Work collaboratively with the person to ensure their safety, focusing on immediate measures rather than long-term solutions.

Safety Plan

Develop a safety plan that includes trusted adults they can talk to, coping strategies, and steps to stay safe during a crisis. Engage the person in creating this plan to ensure it’s practical and tailored to their needs.

Support Network

Identify who or what has supported the person in the past and whether these supports are still available. Ask how they would like to be supported and if there’s anything you can do to help. Remember, while you can offer support, you are not responsible for their actions or decisions.

Professional Help

Encourage Professional Help

Encourage the person to seek appropriate professional help as soon as possible. Provide information about local mental health services, counsellors, and crisis helplines. Discuss help-seeking options with them and offer to assist with making appointments or accompanying them.

Persistent Encouragement

If the person is reluctant to seek help, continue to encourage them. Stigma, shame, and hopelessness can prevent people from asking for help. Your persistent support can make a significant difference.

Adolescents and Reluctance

Adolescents might need a more directive approach. Ensure someone close to them, such as a family member or friend, is aware of the situation. If they refuse professional help, seek assistance from a mental health professional.

Urgent Risk

For individuals at urgent risk, additional actions might be needed. Seek their permission to contact their regular doctor or mental health professional. If they have a specific plan for suicide or access to means, contact a mental health centre or crisis line for advice.

Managing Confidentiality

If the person asks you to keep their suicidal thoughts a secret, explain why you can’t agree to this. Assure them that you care too much to keep such a serious issue secret. Involve them in decisions about who else should be informed to ensure their safety.

Taking Care of Yourself

Self-Care

Supporting someone who is suicidal can be emotionally exhausting. It’s vital to take care of your own well-being. Ensure you have a support system in place and seek professional help if needed. Taking care of yourself enables you to continue supporting others effectively.

Additional Resources

By being proactive and supportive, we can help those in crisis find the help they need and potentially save lives